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Violence is about...

   ● feeling isolated

   ● Being afraid of saying what you feel

   ● Feeling stupid

   ● Feeling as though your are walking on eggshells knowing that humiliation and

      abuse can occur any moment

   ● Bening  hit for any reason

   ● Blaming yourself for your partner’s anger or abuse

   ● Being kicked for expressing a different opinion

   ● Important decisions made by one person

You are wondering in what mood he will be when he comes home.

You think he is violent because of his substance abuse.

He is blaming you, saying you have a bad temper.

He pretends he does not have any problems, that your relationship is doing fine

He is telling you how lucky you are to have him, and that “no one else would want you".

You are staying because you are afraid of running out of money.

You feel sorry for him because of his violent family history.

He is saying “Why do dress this way, your clothes are too sexy.”

After hitting you or insulting you, he will say: “You knew I was tired but you had to hassle me with all that crap!”

You are really scared.

He doesn’t like to see you spend time with your family, whether he’s there or not.

He wakes you up for all kind of reasons.

He acts out every time you see a friend.

He calls you names or makes fun of you in public.

You feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

He grabbed you by the throat. You thought you were going to die.

He makes you perform sexual acts that you are not comfortable with.

He insists on having sex with you.

He keeps saying: “You’re crazy. Get your head checked.” You have come to believe him.

He is ignoring you.

He cries and seems to be remorseful. He says he loves you.

He claims he will seek help, follow a therapy.

He becomes like he used to be: very gentle and considerate.

He promises to stop taking drugs.

He tells you that can’t live without you and you’re the only one who can help.  

He is giving you all kinds of advice claiming it’s for your own good.

He tells you that if you leave, he will never love anyone else

Do any of these sound familiar?

The day after the outburst, he takes you out for dinner.

Do you recognize yourself?


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